january 22 2024

I’m having an episode of sorts so I call Meg. I’m crying and incoherent but she understands what I need and tells me to go to Selena’s. Her voice is so soothing I start crying even harder. I get up off the floor and manage to make my way to Selena’s and she welcomes me with open arms. Meg joins us after her class.

I always thought there would come a point where I wouldn’t have to feel as much as I always have but life keeps showing me it only gets deeper. You can only go farther into the abyss of the Self. It’s a free fall. We ricochet on the edges of who we were and who we are becoming.

I rarely tell people my problems so the gratitude I have for my girls is pressed down, shaken together and running over everything. I pray for all of them. It is priceless to have people who can see your heart.

We sit and talk for hours. It starts snowing. I stop crying.